SQUISHED
ContractSOON

HOUSEHOLD PRESSURE DEPARTMENT

SQUISHED

A fluffy calico cat sitting squarely on a black cat's face on a cushion

One cat supervises. One cat supports the operation.

The Upper Shift

Every afternoon, SQUISHED reports to the cushion before the sun reaches the low table. The calico takes the upper shift. The black cat handles structural support, mostly with his face. Packages wait. Tea cools. Nothing moves until the room has been sat on correctly. By dusk, one paw checks the hallway and the other cat quietly reassesses his employment. The cushion keeps minutes in one permanent dent.

Floor Procedure

The household runs on six settled facts. None require standing up, and only one employee has filed a formal written objection.

  • Ticker$SQSH
  • DutyCushion inspection
  • Upper shiftCalico supervisor
  • Lower shiftBlack cat
  • Load ratingOne determined roommate
  • Appeal processCurrently underneath

The upper shift remains comfortably occupied.